Ana Mardoll's Ramblings: August 2020

Open Thread: Pink on White

With Greenish brown that fades to to orangeish brown. This picture of a flower that's seen better days was taken on the 25th circa 5:20 PM.

Sorry this is so late.

We sometimes have special open threads set aside for discussing various movies, said discussions including plain text spoilers. That said, we do not currently have any. You do not need such a thread to discuss a movie. Provided you encipher any spoilers (the standard method is by summoning Cthulhu) discussion of movies is quite welcome in the regular open threads.

The special threads are for cases where movie-talk might threaten to drown out other discussion, is expected to take place over multiple weeks, or both. If you believe a given movie calls for one, simply say so. Be aware, however, that I'm not remotely on top of things right now, it's probably best if you @ me (chris the cynic, not Ana) to get my attention.

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~~Friday~~ Sunday Recommendations! What have you been reading/writing/listening to/playing/watching lately? Shamelessly self-promote or boost the signal on something you think we should know about - the weekend’s ~~ahead of us, so~~ basically over, but you can still give us something new to explore!

And, like on all threads: please remember to use the "post new comment" feature rather than the "reply" feature, even when directly replying to someone else!

Utena: Forced to Dance

[Utena Content Note: Abuse, Sexual Assault, Stalking, Incest]

Links: Froborr's excellent posts and color symbolism guide are here. I'm watching the subtitled episodes contained in the blu-ray collection here.

Revolutionary Girl Utena, Episode 30: "The Barefoot Girl"

Tatsuya talks to Wakaba and he's still a compulsive liar, this time about first kisses. Utena reminisces about Dios and his kiss when she was a little girl.

Akio bakes a cake and the girls enthuse over him. Kissmate notes that Chu-Chu has been associated more with Utena of late. If he's associate with Anthy's emotions, does that mean her thoughts are with Utena these days? Wakaba, and then teachers, pressure Utena to act more like a girl and wear skirts instead of her boy uniform. Akio comes to her rescue, putting his arm around her and guiding her off before telling them to let Utena be more independent.

Utena: Trailing Miracles

[Utena Content Note: Abuse, Sexual Assault, Stalking, Rape]

Links: Froborr's excellent posts and color symbolism guide are here. I'm watching the subtitled episodes contained in the blu-ray collection here.

Revolutionary Girl Utena, Episode 29: "Azure Paler Than The Sky"

Mind the trigger warnings on this one, okay? It gets pretty intense.

We open with a recap of Ruka dumping Shiori. In the center of the school grounds she causes a scene, clinging to him and begging him not to leave. The campus consensus falls on Ruka's side, as these things are wont to do because of misogyny, and Shiori stops coming to class. Juri continues teaching fencing, and Utena approaches her asking if she isn't worried about Shiori. [Kissmate: "She's almost sitting in a throne while Utena is making her case. ...Oh my god, the chairs are arranged in a love triangle--and she's walking away from it."]

I do love Utena's continued flaw of innocently hurting people. "Don't you care about her?" YES, UTENA, THAT'S THE PROBLEM. [Kissmate: "In an anime about teenagers trying to be adults, she's the childish one but... in a wholesome way?"]

In bed, Utena and Anthy discuss Juri. Anthy says sometimes people do or say things they wouldn't normally. Utena asks if she ever does, and Anthy hesitates. Shiori stalks Ruka by phone while he rides in the car with Touga and Akio. He's hatching a plan to beat Utena that has to do with Juri. A distraught Shiori tells Juri to leave her alone when she checks in on her, saying she only despises her more. In desperation, Juri asks Ruka to take Shiori back--she wants to make her happy. Ruka taunts her, listing Shiori's flaws and asking who would want a girl like that.

Film Corner: Eurovision Song Contest

Eurovision Song Contest

[Content Note: Rape. Did not finish.]

I think I'm well enough today to live-tweet a movie, and I've really wanted to watch EUROVISION on Netflix. Kissmate has never seen the Eurovision song contest, and I've been trying to explain it as an American who only really got into it all about 3 years ago. "It's like normal pop music but with outlandish costumes and special effects, and also sorta like the Doof Wagon from Mad Max Fury Road" was maybe not the BEST way to describe the event.

Okay, we're in Iceland in 1974. I have *no idea* how much Eurovision was a thing in 1974, because I am an ignorant American. Please assume I know nothing. A family watches ABBA singing Waterloo at Eurovision, and a little boy who "misses his mother" is transfixed. Aww! Little Lars and Sigrit dance happily while the family jeers with varying degrees of affection. (Lars' father says he'd "rather be dead" than see his son dance at Eurovision.)

Utena: The Perfect Couple

[Utena Content Note: Abuse, Sexual Assault, Stalking]

Links: Froborr's excellent posts and color symbolism guide are here. I'm watching the subtitled episodes contained in the blu-ray collection here.

Revolutionary Girl Utena, Episode 28: "Whispers in the Dark"

We open with Juri talking about the whispers in her heart. She looks at the empty spot on the bench beside her.

A fencing match and a locker for a boy named Ruka. A boy not on the roster challenges Juri. [Kissmate: "He's literally towering over everyone."] Miki blushes and yields his space on the roster. (My little gayby, I just.) Kissmate notes the newcomer's hair color is the opposite of Juri's: dark blue to her orange. The match ends with a draw; Utena notices that Juri was slower than the newcomer in her lunge. He says he'd hoped Juri would improve, but didn't. Juri calls him Captain. Ruka pulls off his mask in a white rose frame: the Prince.

Open Thread: Squirrel

This was the sixth of seven photos I took of the squirrel. It's the only one in which I managed to get the camera to focus on the squirrel instead of the grass behind the squirrel. As absurdly useful as auto-focus is, I really wish it would be quicker and easier to override when the situation calls for it.

Picture taken on the tenth circa 5:24 PM.

Sorry for the lack of open thread last week.

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Friday Recommendations! What have you been reading/writing/listening to/playing/watching lately? Shamelessly self-promote or boost the signal on something you think we should know about - the weekend’s ahead of us, so give us something new to explore!

And, like on all threads: please remember to use the "post new comment" feature rather than the "reply" feature, even when directly replying to someone else!

Utena: Girls Who Lay Eggs

[Utena Content Note: Abuse, Sexual Assault, Stalking, Menstruation]

Links: Froborr's excellent posts and color symbolism guide are here. I'm watching the subtitled episodes contained in the blu-ray collection here.

Revolutionary Girl Utena, Episode 27: "Nanami's Egg"

We're in a Nanami flashback. In a sandbox she finds a pretty Easter egg. She awakens from the dream and finds the same egg, yellow and red, in her bed. ...Okay, so this is either a menstruation metaphor or some kind of pregnancy metaphor. On the way to school, Tsuwabuki tells her she has a "girls-only health and hygiene class" so I'm putting all my chips on "menstruation metaphor".

Nanami is carrying the egg in her pocket. The colors now seem to be green and red. Kissmate has noted that green often accompanies "secrets" and that would be a valid addition to confusion and doubt. Self + Confusion/Secrets? Nanami is panicking because she's never heard of people laying eggs before, and this rings true for menstruating folks who didn't get any kind of heads-up before their first bleed. Her body feels alien and wrong because this can't be normal.

Afterland: Chapters 45, 54

[Content Note: Transphobia]

I quit the AFTERLAND book, but I promised I'd read the 3 chapters that I know explicitly deal with trans people. My last thread was on Ch. 29, which was the "sorry, trans sisters!" bit and it was awful. TERFy as fuck, and with a "sassy gay man" narrator. The next reference that I can find to trans people is in Ch. 45, where a trans man is referenced. Briefly. So let's tackle that one.

AFTERLAND. Chapter 45.

"45. Miles: Wolf in Wolf's Clothing"

Oh no, wait, I had my notes upside down: Chapter 54 is the brief reference to a trans man. Chapter 45 is the one where Miles meets the detransitioner who rails against transition. So this will be fun, obviously. Trigger warnings for transphobia.

We've skipped a lot of chapters so I don't know precisely what is going on, but Miles is in an empty school and wearing religious robes called "the Apologia". He doesn't like the robes or their situation, whatever it may be. In case we've forgotten, Miles refers to the plague as the "Manpocalypse" which is obviously great in a chapter where we're about to meet a detransitioned trans man. We could've met a transitioned trans man in this book, but apparently that was too much to ask.

Film Corner: Suicide Squad and Birds of Prey

Suicide Squad and Birds of Prey

SUICIDE SQUAD by Kissmate

[Ana] Kissmate bought me BIRDS OF PREY to watch during recovery. Only it turns out that he got a double-package of BIRDS OF PREY plus SUICIDE SQUAD. Apparently it cost a whopping dollar more, and the packaging seems pretty apologetic about SUICIDE SQUAD being inside. He says he'll live-tweet the movie that causes pain. Neither of us have seen it, but we've Heard Things.

Today is a nice lazy day, so it's time to relax, pull up some grub, and #Kissmatewatches the mess that is Suicide Squad (2016) dir. by David Ayer. I'm going to be upfront and say that I KNOW it's garbage, but I've never seen it for myself. Time to change it, for better or worse!

Utena: Adult Things

[Utena Content Note: Abuse, Sexual Assault, Stalking]

Links: Froborr's excellent posts and color symbolism guide are here. I'm watching the subtitled episodes contained in the blu-ray collection here.

Revolutionary Girl Utena, Episode 26: "Miki's Nest Box"

We open in Akio's car where Miki's 'Sunlit Garden' plays on the radio. Akio wants Utena defeated and Anthy re-engaged as soon as possible. I think he noticed Anthy's hesitation the night before--and that she intervened in the duel to prompt Utena to work together--and he mistrusts Anthy's loyalties. Like any capable abuser, he wants to isolate her from the person who cares about her. Touga asks if Utena isn't the golden goose and Akio says their value is only in the eggs they lay. He has the eggs--the previous "improvements" to the battles that Utena has been a part of--and doesn't want the goose.

It's unclear right now what Akio's end goal is, but he seems to be "refining" the duels in some way. Back in the Nemuro timeline (the first one), the big technological advance seemed to be Nemuro opening the arena. Then the boys (and Mamiya) apparently had to burn as fuel for a future eternity gate. By the time we get to season one, everyone is using the arena as normal and not as some "new" thing recently discovered. The technological advance of this new generation seems to be the "power-ups" that Touga unlocks with Anthy and Utena later utilizes. Season two introduce the idea of pulling swords from hearts *other* than that of the Rose Bride, and we receive the gondola when Mikage leaves the school. Now here at the start of season three, our most recent discovery has been that the Rose Bride can pull swords from duelists' hearts. It seems Akio wants these refinements, but he's willing to toss Utena aside now that Anthy is getting too close to her.

Afterland: Chapter 29

[Content Note: Transphobia]

We're going to skip ahead to Chapter 29, which is an Interlude chapter designed to tell us about the Mystery Virus, and therefore should've been given to us near the start of the book and not the middle.

AFTERLAND. Chapter 29.

"29. DirtyHarry.tv"

This is where we're going to be getting our medical information, and not from a CDC broadcast, huh? Are we just supposed to take as read that this is all accurate? We finally learn that HCV means "Human Culgoa Virus", though we don't learn WHY just yet. The "human" part of the name would imply there's a non-human variant of the disease, but nothing in the world-building has suggested that.

We're told that it is "a highly contagious flu that turns into an aggressive prostate cancer in men and boys". That's a direct quote: "men and boys". No clarification of "cis". Keep that in mind, please. Women can get the flu but it's mild and non-deadly. However, they remain carriers after the fact. Then we get the "inclusion" of trans women that I firmly believe was edited in hastily just before publish.

Afterland: Chapters 24-25

[Content Note: Transphobia, Child Sexual Abuse (CSA), Rape]

Okay. Deep breath. Is this still helping anyone? I'm doing a good by continuing? I like to check in.

AFTERLAND. Chapter 24.

"24. Cole: Shotgun Sally"

Cole teaches Miles to drive because it's not like they're in a hurry to get where they're going, and a little old lady materializes out of nowhere to invite them to dinner for no reason. The narrative is *still* misgendering Miles constantly. We come to the second, and last, mention of the word "lesbian" in this novel when the Little Old Lady has to clarify that when she says a neighbor "family" comes over on Tuesdays, she means a LESBIAN couple, because I guess the concept of a family without men confuses.

The Little Old Lady sets out christmas crackers for the occasion, and can you even get those in America? She roasted a chicken and wasn't counting on every bite for herself, so again this is a very cozy apocalypse. It's all very nice but also a trap: the Little Old Lady locks them in and menaces them with a shotgun because she doesn't want them to leave. Cole instantly and easily disarms her and they're off again, only briefly inconvenienced. End of chapter.

I guess we'll do another chapter, since the last one was so very short and so very pointless.

Afterland: Chapters 20-23

[Content Note: Transphobia, Toxic Masculinity, Homophobic Slurs]

Okay, so what I'm going to try to do today is summarize a chapter in the fewest tweets possible, unless/until more transphobia crops up to talk about. This means I'm going to necessarily have to skim over all the other problematic stuff, but this book is starting to wear me down with its badness.

AFTERLAND. Chapter 20.

"20. Cole: Find A Crack and Fall Through It"

I thought Patty's reference to "husband and boyfriend" indicated polyamory, but no, it was an affair. Sigh. Patty has nothing more valuable to do with her life than help Cole, so she gently pressures her to tell her the truth about where she's going. Cole declines, and Patty good-naturedly gives her cash and a car. That's the entire short chapter.

The only thing of note here is that Patty says they've helped people get away from "[s]talkers, abusive exes, toxic families" since the plague and I wonder what that would even look like in a world where all the cis men have died. Like, women can absolutely be abusers, but by definition a LOT of the abusers in the world are dead (because half the population just died) and this Utah "commune" of roommates didn't see a drop in business? Whatever.

By the way, Michelle never showed up again in this book. That fourth roommate literally only existed to talk about masturbation and semen to Miles so he'd get uncomfortable and they'd all take him to see modern art and his social media leaks could then happen. Like Richie Cunningham's older brother Chuck, she just disappeared back upstairs and out of our lives forever.

Film Corner: Kill Bill 2

Kill Bill: Volume 2

[Content Note: Rape, Racism, Gore]

(Kissmate) About to start Kill Bill Volume 2. I've been told it's worse than the other, but nothing else. Volume 1 exhausted me, so let's see if I can power my way through this one! I'm going to assume that the previous warnings of rape, gore, and racism still apply. And that the dialogue is still horribly written from before. And that the director is a GIGANTIC weaboo. So if the same still applies, I may not mention it too much.

Uma catches us back up on what happened in Volume 1, and mentions Bill is the only one left. What happened to the other two? CHAPTER SIX. Uma mentions that her attack became infamous, almost like an urban legend. So many versions, but she's telling us the facts. The shooting happened during a wedding rehearsal. Bill finds her. Uma wanted out of the killing business, and was getting married to keep out of it. Bill is introduced as her father to the groom (a lie). I've noticed that the camera loves feet for no reason.

Afterland: Chapters 18-19

[Content Note: Transphobia, Child Sexual Abuse (CSA), Racism]

I took a few days off from this Afterland book because it's just so awful and I feel like the previous chapter 17 broke me. The email between Cole and Keletso isn't just bad--though it is--there's this layer cake of issues where a white woman is calling on her 2 best Black friends to ride-or-die her out of major crimes on the grounds that they were playground buddies back in the day.

I know that internet naming sites are often riddled with inaccuracy so take this with a grain of salt, but Names dot org says Keletso means "advice" or "wish". And this is the friend who answers Cole's wishes by laying out her advisory plan for leaving the country. Names dot org says that Sisonke means "we're all in this together" / "all of us", and this is the woman who convinces Keletso to stick with Cole in spite of the immense personal risk involved in abetting major crimes. These Black women aren't *people*, they're plot devices. The one named Advice gives advice and the one named, basically, Solidarity stands in solidarity. They're magical Black best friends to call upon when the white protagonist needs a mountain moved. I hate it.

At no point does Cole ask how either of them are doing. What their lives are like. Who they've lost. Whether now is a good time to be involving them in federal crimes. Nor do they volunteer this information, because they don't exist outside of Cole's story. Keletso gushes about "fascinating stuff about alternative economies" because that's of interest to Cole and the author, but we don't know about her family and friends and life. Does she have kids? Did she lose many loved ones? We don't know. She's a cipher.

I started this read to talk about the obvious transphobia, but there's so much racism. I don't feel qualified to unpack it properly, but at the same time I'm frustrated with the white authors who effusively praised this book and seemingly didn't care.

Afterland: Chapters 16-17

[Content Note: Transphobia, Child Sexual Abuse (CSA), Racism]

I have to break off another new thread. This one will be Chapter 16+.

I care a lot about writing as a craft, which is why I think these deep dives tend to end up being more about writing as art rather than the transphobia that drew my attention. Like, the transphobia in these Gender Plagues is usually the same stuff repeated ad nauseum, but there's so many more and varied and interesting ways in which a book can go Terribly, Terribly Wrong.

Here at Chapter 16, I believe something happened. Maybe the author read back over her previous stuff real quick before churning out a chapter. Maybe a writing partner looked at it. We'll probably never know. But somehow the idea was implanted that, just maybe, the American government hadn't been made villainous enough for Cole to hate and fear them so much, when all they've done so far is feed and shelter people and protected Miles from violent cultist mobs.

Most books would have some sort of editing process to go back and tweak what has come before in order to better align to the story you want to tell, but this book is written by Retcon Fiat where new chapters just overwrite old ones. So here we go.

Open Thread: Clouds

Picture taken on Sunday. They didn't actually look like that, but I couldn't get the picture to look how they did look, so I went with that.

Afterland: Chapters 11-15

[Content Note: Transphobia, Child Sexual Abuse (CSA), Racism]

Before I get to Chapter 11, I want to talk about LEFT BEHIND. This is ancient history now, but I got into deconstructing books because I loved @SlacktivistFred's amazing deep dives into the LEFT BEHIND books.

LEFT BEHIND is about the Christian rapture, in which every child under the age of 13 or so, plus every True Believer adult, is summarily slain by God and taken to heaven without passing Go or collecting $200. (A little Monopoly game joke for you there.) This AFTERLAND book actually shares a lot in common with LEFT BEHIND. Not all the children are dead of course--only 50% of them--but all the fathers are gone. All the uncles and brothers. Every cis man minus a few million exceptions are dead.

Fred Clark talks about how the LEFT BEHIND books don't grapple at all with the kind of worldwide grief this would entail. The characters have all read the back of the book, know it's a Rapture story, and dutifully go back to their jobs and lives. No one ever breaks down in the middle of public life sobbing "the children, the children are all gone, I miss my daughter, please bring back the children." Everyone is almost eager to get back to their day job. It's obscene, like a capitalist wet dream.

In reality, it's just bad writing. The authors don't know how to depict this unprecedented magnitude of grief, so they don't try. They model their cab drivers and septic tank workers off the ones in their daily non-Rapturey lives. You probably see where I'm going with this, yeah?

Afterland: Chapters 6-10

[Content Note: Transphobia, Child Sexual Abuse (CSA), Racism]

Before I start on Chapter 6, I just have to revisit how very bizarre it is that everyone is just bovinely assuming that no one will ever get pregnant again. This isn't a fertility plague. This isn't even a situation where all sperm is gone: we have IVF banks, yes, and frozen embryos, but by the book's own admission there are a million or so American cis men still alive.

I only know that the government has outlawed pregnancy because a review mentioned it; the book hasn't seen fit to tell me this yet. Which...I can't really blame it for being shy of that plot point, given that Quiverfull groups would never respect this law. We can't even get people to wear masks, and this book wants me to believe that everyone just accepts that the human race is done and no babies ever again because the government says so. What the actual fuck.

Given how much this book was compared to HANDMAID'S TALE, I was expecting impoverished women to be recruited as wombs for the rich while the surviving cis men are milked for sperm. This is... apparently not the case??? Furthermore, we have a zillion frozen embryos in storage. We have embryos whose gender we know, if you're that concerned about not birthing boys who will die (unless you take their prostate out). It's- none of this makes any sense.

Film Corner: Kill Bill 1

Kill Bill: Volume 1

[Content Note: Rape, Racism, Gore]

(Kissmate) There's a tradition where @AnaMardoll watches the "Kill Bill" movies (2003-04), just to remember how bad a director Quentin Tarantino really is. Now it's my turn! I know about maybe one scene in Volume 1. I remember these movies advertising, but nothing else after that. I haven't seen any Tarantino directed movies, but I did see "Sin City" and "From Dusk Til Dawn" which he helped write. I'll give my ratings to each individual Kill Bill movie, then to both together. This one is gonna be a helluva ride, so let's go!

Oh good, the first thing we see is a quote about revenge while a woman is covered in blood and sweat. Oh, Uma Thurman, you deserved better. "I bet I could fry an egg on your head right now if I wanted to." Was that meant to be intimidating? That was silly! Looks like Bill is wiping up blood from her, but it's so hard to tell since all we see is Uma's face up close and beaten to hell. "Bill, it's your baby-" GUNSHOT AND CUT TO TITLE. OH OK JUST DO THAT I GUESS. DON'T GIVE ANYTHING TO THE VIEWER JUST YET.

Credits to "Bang, Bang" by Nancy Sinatra. "CHAPTER ONE (2)"??? Pasadena, CA. The Bells, residence. Uma walks up, rings the bell, and is greeted by Fox. Suddenly SIRENS AND RED FLASHES TO FOX STANDING OVER UMA'S PREGNANT BODY READY TO STRIKE HER DOWN. FIGHT!! Already, I feel like I'm not given any chance to breathe or enjoy the story. It's "THINGS ARE HAPPENING SO ENJOY THEM" and I'm not ok with being constantly shoved into a fast-flashing light-up screen.

Uma and Fox fight with no music, save the shattering of glass and the occasional "come on, bitch" from Fox. A bus rolls by and Fox's child walks in and starts asking questions. Uma tries to introduce herself and the name is bleeped out. Why? Is it a bad word? Fox's child (Nikki) says she's 4. I immediately call BS as Nikki looks 8-10 and got off a school bus alone. 4-year-olds don't even go to school. In fact, the actress was 8 years old! What the fuck, who made this choice?! Why am I pissed about a blatant lie???

Fox tells Nikki to wait upstairs, then offers coffee to Uma. And the dialogue begins. It's so BAD! No one talks like this. It's full of preteen-level cussing and crudity. I feel *numb* for having heard it. All I know is that these two women hate each other. Uma tells Fox that she plans on killing Fox and her family to "get even". Fox plans a fight date, then pulls out "Kaboom" cereal for Nikki. Uma mentions Fox being the best with an edged weapon. "Fuck you, bitch" is the response. GUN IN THE CEREAL BOX! Fox fires! Shot goes wide, Uma kicks the mug to distract, and throws a knife from her belt into Fox's chest! Nikki saw everything, but Uma reassures her.

"I didn't mean to do this in front of you... I'm sorry. But your mother had it coming." I HATE THIS WRITING!!! Uma tells Nikki to fight her if she grows up and still feels "raw about it". Uma gets in the truck and crosses off name #2. (Oh, like at the title card.) Name #1 is already crossed off. When did that happen? Are we time-jumping? ….A-Are we time jumping? Japanese is being said. Something about how a warrior must do everything (including getting rid of emotions) to vanquish every enemy (even if it's God or Buddha). That... is a very White Man thing. Shinto, Buddhism, and Bushido do NOT agree with this!

Uma rides a Pussy Wagon? Is it a reclaim of the word? I doubt. CHAPTER TWO. El Paso, TX. Uma dressed as a bride lies in a crime scene. A sheriff with a ton of aviator glasses drives in. Nine deaths with a ton of bullet casings. Sheriff says it was the work of professionals because the "colors are all in the line" with a steady hand. What? Then he's creepily mentioning how pretty the bride is. Ew, dude, be professional yourself! Then he calls her a cocksucker!! WHAT THE FUCK?!

I'm just going to make a tweet about the dialogue or I'm here all night. It's SO painful! Every line is either crude, creepy, racist, sexist, childishly-written, or just plain bad. And it wouldn't be terrible if it wasn't so damn PROUD of how ""adult"" it sounds! Turns out Uma is alive! She wakes in a hospital bed.

A woman with an eyepatch walks in and her clothing looks like it's outlined like those "cartoon 3D backpacks". The other nurses aren't dressed like that. Oh, but she dresses like the other nurses now! With- omg- She looks REDICULOUS! An eye patch with the Red Cross on it and one of those little white cotton hats! She looks like she's about to perform a strip tease to "Doctor, Doctor", not commit murder! I'm laughing at how silly this looks! So the nurse, or Elle Driver, walks with a needle full of poison to Uma. A call from Bill interrupts the act. He refuses to Uma in her sleep because it would lower them (or dishonor them, maybe?). Miss Driver isn't happy about that, but leaves all the same.

FOUR YEARS LATER. A mosquito wakes Uma and she gets some violent flashbacks to the moment she was shot. After mourning the loss of her child (don't know what happened to it), she mentions "four years". How does she know how long she's been out??? [CW: Rape] Two men walk in (trucker and nurse) and start talking. The nurse is basically running a HORRIBLE side-business of coma patients getting raped for a price. It took me a long time to say that without puking. That should explain my thoughts.

[CW: Infertility and Rape] Oh, and the nurse says the trucker can cum inside her all he wants because "her plumbing doesn't work". Can't hit her or leave marks, but leaving behind physical evidence because she's infertile is totally cool! EAT SHIT AND DIE. Can we also talk about how she had to lay there mourning her life and baby while listening to someone sell her body like he's done it a million times? Because that also happened. And he probably has in the last four years. THIS IS SICK AND WRONG AND BAD. This is handled like a shock value torture scene rather than the serious subject it is. This doesn't belong in an over-the-top action B-list movie, it belongs in serious-toned movies!

Moving on! Uma falls out of bed, her legs not working yet. She hamstrings him and bashes his head in the door. She steals the "Pussy Wagon" keys, scrubs, and a wheelchair and goes to the Pussy Wagon. I don't think this was to reclaim the word anymore. The main heroine (known only by her relation to a man) is forced to struggle into a misogynistic and sexist vehicle in order to survive and exact revenge against those who tried to kill her. This is a horrible metaphor and I am already dreading the rest of this.

Now Uma wiggles her toes to get out of coma atrophy. She waxes poetic about how revenge going in one's favor is proof that one is doing god's will. She remembers that The Deadly Viper Assassination Squad attacked her, so she's going to kill them first. I know I'm white, but you're not supposed to pronounce both i's in the name Ishii, correct? O-Ren I-Shi vs. O-Ren I-Shi-I. That... That sounds like anyone could've researched, found that flaw, and edited it easily enough. So what the fuck?

They show O-Ren's backstory in artsy anime form. Her mother and father were killed in front of her at the age of 9 by Yakuza. This feels not only cliché and arrogant, but racist. Appropriation of animation style, inaccurate Yakuza depiction, and "Dragon Lady". [CW: Pedophilia] "FORTUNATELY FOR HER, THE BOSS WAS A PEDOPHILE." Just fucking punch me in the throat already. While fucking the Yakuza boss at age 11, she kills him with a sword. Then becomes a top assassin by age 20. Then attacks Uma.

Uma gets on a plane and goes to Okinawa. CHAPTER FOUR. She walks into a Japanese bar where the owner talks to her and teaches her some Japanese. He then bickers on and off with a seemingly lazy worker. This is a funny scene. "How is it ruined?" I say with a sigh. Uma mentions she's looking for Hattori Hanzo's steel to get rid of vermin. His whole demeanor changes and he's suddenly taking her more seriously. So she faked not knowing Japanese the whole time because... why? As a gotcha? It wasn't very good, nor subtle.

Wait. Needless Japanese comedy routine, Fascination with Katana and similar swords, Obsession with Japanese media, Inaccurate but Constant push of East Asian morals and teachings... IS QUENTIN TARATINO A WEABOO?!

Hanzo says he doesn't make swords anymore, but she pushes for him to give her one because Hanzo taught Bill (fighting lessons, I'm guessing?). Uma's character feels like a Karen getting a manager (or BEING a manager) to fire the people who attacked her from LIFE. Hanzo agrees to make her one, even though he's done making killing weapons. Because this trope isn't overdone to shit. Wow, they got actual Japanese actors in this. I feel sorry for the director fetishizing their culture so openly in front of them.

CHAPTER FIVE. There's a female lawyer named Sophie Fatale. And a 17-year-old Japanese schoolgirls named Gogo who kills perverts. And some guy named Johnny Mo, nothing else about him. All of them work for O-Ren. A Yakuza boss mentions her mixed blood, and she kills him in a very anime-esque way. Ever since I realized I'm watching a Weaboo movie, I've been SUPER uneasy. There's nothing wrong with appreciating other cultures. Never fetishize it. Realize it's not YOURS.

[CW: Racism] There's a LOT of Japanese culture and media appropriation here, to the point I have to not keep pointing out every little thing. This is SUPER racist to Japanese people and insulting to the culture. I'm super angry about it, but I have to move on. O-Ren tells them all to go fuck themselves if they hate her heritage. Cool. Uma goes to Tokyo and- Is that a Jazz version of "Bee Chasing the Czar"? What the fuck??? And Uma has a sword ON THE PLANE WITH HER?! POST 9/11?! This is ridiculous and surreal!!!

If there's ONE GOOD THING about this movie... the soundtrack is awesome. Uma tracks O-Ren to a club. She finds the lawyer in the bathroom and gets the sirens again. Maybe something cool will finally happen? Uma cuts off Fatale's arm and I can finally talk about the Tarantino Squirts! Blood loves to pour forth from a wound like a fire hydrant in Tarantino films. And I feel it's a part of his weaboo side. Old ultra-violence anime titles LOVED to have blood like this. The problem is: media style makes all the difference. Blood gushing out in animation gives it expression and a feeling of quantity and panic. In live-action, it's unnecessary. The unneeded blood amount here just makes it look silly and over-the-top. And having it be over-the-top is FINE, if your WHOLE MOVIE can be silly and over-the-top. But again, Kill Bill is trying to take this and be PROUD of how SMART it sounds while also showing off its anime figurines in its filthy, odd-smelling room. So no points!

The club clears and Uma fights the Yakuza under O-Ren. Soon, it's just O-Ren and Gogo. Gogo fights Uma with a spike-ball-and-chain. If this was JUST an action movie, it wouldn't be too bad. The fight scenes are actually decent! But it's NOT and it SUFFERS. Gogo dies in a very BS way (really, THAT killed her?!) and now it's just Uma and O-Ren. After a REALLY SILLY Trix Rabbit line, the rest of the Yakuza storm in and... a boring fight scene happens. I just praised the fight scenes! Why is it failing to deliver?! I think the movie went black-and-white to lessen the gore but it comes off as artistically pompous. We're not allowed to take in anything because of all the fast cuts and editing. If we were allowed to sit back a bit and just soak it in, it'd be FUN!! Instead.

After a LONG FIGHT SCENE where NOTHING happens of consequence (they got a lot of trailer-shots here), Uma makes her way to O-Ren. They go back and forth in a mix of Japanese and English. And I have to take back my music like! Bad music choice! Latino mix? Here? Also, there's no tension here. WE KNOW UMA WINS. She kills Fox after this! Dragging this out is BORING, not COOL. Oh, and gore happens. Like, "see O-Ren's brain" gore. And with that, O-Ren is dead.

Uma throws Fatale at a hospital after torturing her for information. Bill finds Fatale and knows what Uma knows. Because Uma wants him to know that she plans on killing them all. That's a bad plan, because now they can all prepare for your attacks! DUH! We see Uma making the Death List and hear Bill ask Fatale "Does she know her daughter is still alive?" Then Credits! SWEET BLESSED CREDITS! This movie is SHIT! I feel like I lost a part of myself for having watched it.

0/10 NEVER AGAIN! Every time it was good, it RUINED! AND IT WASN'T GOOD OFTEN!

But there's still Volume 2. I shall tackle it tomorrow. I need a LONG SLEEP after that marathon of BAD.

Afterland: Chapters 1-5

[Content Note: Transphobia, Child Sexual Abuse (CSA), Racism]

Kissmate is down for us to read Afterland and report on the handling of gender therein. My plan is to read one chapter a day unless my willpower breaks and I either have to quit or end up maranthoning the entire book just to get it over with. Why are we reading something we expect not to like and which may cause us pain? I don't want to upset anyone who likes the book and/or the author, but this sort of transphobic premise keeps being mishandled and we need to talk about it.

AFTERLAND. Chapter 1.

"Cole: Naming Rights"

Cole is the mother in our apocalypse scenario. She has blood on her shirt and is anxiously checking over her son, Miles, who has unspecified drugs in his system. Cole, a white woman, is worried about Miles being taken away from her by the government. "She’ll be arrested. Miles will be taken away. In America, they steal kids from their parents. This was true even before all this."

Cole is described based on her reflection in a mirror. "She looks old. Worse, she looks scared. Cole doesn’t want him to see that. Maybe that’s what superheroes are concealing behind the masks: not their secret identities, but the fact that they’re scared shitless." They're hiding out in a "looted gas station store". I'm a little surprised because I thought this was a relatively orderly apocalypse. Apparently not, okay.

Open Thread: Pony

This is not the first time Elliot here has appeared in an open thread. I was so focused on making sure that the colors came out right that I completely missed his halter hanging off of him. Apparently he doesn't like having it on his nose. (I wouldn't either.)

Picture taken this morning.

We have special open threads set aside for discussing various movies, said discussions including plain text spoilers. This is the only current one:
● Birds of Prey

You do not need a special open thread to discuss a movie. Provided you encipher any spoilers (the standard method is by summoning Cthulhu) discussion of movies is quite welcome in the regular open threads.

The special threads are for cases where movie-talk might threaten to drown out other discussion, is expected to take place over multiple weeks, or both. If you believe a given movie calls for one, simply say so.

Afterland: An Announcement

[Content Note: Transphobia]

AFTERLAND. The Announcement.

This book is being described as "a world without men" because...nearly everyone with a prostate dies. *deep breath* So most trans women are dead and...trans men just don't exist, I guess? Because it's a world "without men"? I'm especially hurt because I saw several cis authors praising the book earlier and they're people I thought were trans allies. But I guess we're an afterthought when those folks aren't on Twitter.

I can't get past "cosmetic beard stubble". Prescription testosterone is made from soybeans and yams and plants. Did they get wiped out by the prostate plague??? Folks could be growing their own beards, but instead they're using eyebrow pencils to dot one on?!?!

The problem with these Gender Plague books by cis people isn't that they aren't "inclusive enough" because of social justice! The problem is that their total ignorance about gender issues makes the world-building laughably bad. You can't solve the problem by wiping out trans women via protates or trans men via uteruses and be like "see? I love trans people enough to know they exist!" Like, first of all, don't do that. It's harmful. Second of all, you still need to research this stuff.

August Newsletter (2020)

August is here! I'd say welcome to the summer season but it's been 100 degrees fahrenheit almost every day here for what feels like weeks so the welcome would be remarkably late in coming at this point. Kissmate and I spent the morning trimming the willow tree in the backyard (a lovely monster that never stops growing and threatens to consume us all in its soft, susurrating embrace) and even though it was very early in the day we were still dripping with sweat by the end. It's hot out there and very humid. (At least by my standards.)

Kissmate and I are doing well! My allergic reaction to the surgery sutures is starting to calm down, which means the sutures are starting to dissolve as intended. We still can't lift our arms above our heads and mobility is somewhat limited (this, too, will fade with time) but the pain has become much more manageable for me and is entirely gone for Kissmate. Best of all, we both still love our new look! Dysphoria levels have gone way down and it just feels so amazing to not have breasts anymore. I don't even really remember what it was like to have them. I recall not enjoying the sensation, but it's like a memory of a dream: hazy and faraway and uncertain.

If I have any complaints at all, it's that I still have to sleep more than I would like and it's slowing down progress on all my projects. But that's getting better over time; this last week I stayed up late writing on three different nights and it was wonderful feeling the words flow. I haven't really been up to my old word counts since the 2016 election, and covid has not helped at all, so feeling the urge to write again has been fantastic.

I have some thoughts I want to put before you all about a book I'm planning, but that's another post.

Patreon News

All Patrons: We have some wonderful live-watches of bad movies scheduled for your reading pleasure this month. Suicide Squad, Birds of Prey, Eurovision Song Contest on Netflix (warning: I do not recommend this one if you have triggers around sexual assault), Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, and VelociPastor. Some of these are from Kissmate and some from me; he is really enjoying writing live-watches for you all and loves your comments.

$5+ Patrons: I'm working on another installment in Miriam and Emil's story but have fallen behind. I am almost done with--and hope to post this week--a lovely fanfic about Medusa and a blind trans boy who comes to her island. This one was inspired by the utterly dreadful 2010 Clash of the Titans movie. In other news, I'm working on a sequel to No Man of Woman Born but would like to get your opinions on some things. A post will be going up about that.

Older Links

My Ramblings Deconstructions: Here. A new one is going up soon about Afterland, yet another Gender Plague novel in the vein of Sleeping Beauties.

My YouTube Let's Plays: Here.

My Favorite Tumblr Funnies: Here.

@DivorceKittens: Here.

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Please continue to stay safe out there, and please wear a mask! I am so worried about all of you and have already lost a couple friends to covid. Please take care. I love you.

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